MSBLU8

2008-04-17T04:14:00.000-07:00

MY MTC EXPERIENCE

I consider my MTC experience to be a two-year stop on my journey to …….. somewhere. Unlike many people my age, I still don’t know exactly what my niche is or how I am supposed to contribute to the community in the long run. However, I think my experience teaching is part of my preparation for whatever it is that I am supposed to do somewhere down the line.

My perspectives about teaching evolved as time went by. I started out excited about teaching, energetic, and wondering if perhaps this would be my career for life. While I genuinely enjoyed the first few months of teaching, it did not take long for me to realize that I would not be a teacher for more than the two years to which I committed. Several things contributed to this conclusion. 1) Too many students do not value education, and it’s like the teacher has to battle them to get them to learn anything. I don’t have patience for that. 2) The students have been trained to expect something for nothing and do not understand the concept of EARNING what they get. This feeling of entitlement is part of the downfall of our community. 3) I think too much emphasis in school systems is placed on trivial matters that have little to do with whether our schools are actually preparing our students for life (e.g., state test scores). I feel that in many ways teachers are required and expected to do things that do not contribute to the bottom line – equipping students with an education that will help them succeed in the workforce and/or in college. All this reviewing for the test, and the practice test, and the test to practice for the practice test leaves little time for teaching, learning, and mastery.

What is the most important thing I have learned? My MTC experience has taught me more about my community than I ever wanted to know. Perhaps I was just refusing to look, but prior to teaching, I didn’t have a good idea about the warped mentality of the young people (including many of the parents) in the community. I didn’t know the extent to which the culture of the community needs to be changed, somehow. While there are some noble qualities that are a positive part of the culture such as loyalty, there are SO many community “values” that need to be abandoned altogether and replaced with traditional qualities such as discipline, self-respect, respect for others, especially older people, pride, etc. For example, the students place so much emphasis on fashion that they are willing to work numerous hours per week so that they can buy the latest fashion trends, name brand clothes, and Jordans. Yet, they claim they can’t buy a ten dollar calculator for math class. If we don’t find some way to teach ALL our kids about the different between items that appreciate and those that depreciate, and how collecting every Jordan is not a way to accumulate wealth, I am going to scream. Could we PLEASE try to find a way to give them an understanding of investment and delayed gratification. Guess what students, if you buy a calculator today, do well in math (and other classes, ACT, etc.), you may be able to get a scholarship that is worth tens of thousands of times more than some Jordans!!

So we say that the issue is one of poverty. I agree. But, poverty has not always meant a lack of value for education. In the fifties and sixties, many black people lived in poverty situations in rural and urban areas. Although many parents didn’t have education themselves, they valued it and instilled that value of education into their children. My parents, aunts, and uncles were such students – reared by parents who did not graduate from high school but yet pushed their children to do what they could not themselves do. So, while poverty is an issue, apparently the culture of poverty today is markedly different than the culture of poverty decades ago. So how do we get back to our old values, despite poverty?

Perhaps one of my most enjoyable experiences as a teacher was serving as an assistant basketball coach last year. I love the game of basketball and enjoyed being around it and the players. Through extracurricular activities, teachers have the opportunity to be around students in a nonacademic setting which allows the students to see that the teachers are just people too. It’s amazing how students’ attitudes towards a class improve just by virtue of the students feeling that they can somehow relate to the teacher.

Also, I find that sports is one of the few areas where discipline is emphasized. For example, basketball players are expected to run plays, execute the coach's directions, and not just randomly run around the court and shoot from half court. There is a certain degree of discipline that is expected. In the classroom, on the other hand, it is almost as if we are sending the message to students that they aren’t expected to demonstrate discipline in class. Oh, the students can’t sit and be quiet in class for 90 minutes. We need to move them around and play games with them to break the monotony. While of course I do understand that sentiment a little, at the same time, I don’t think we are setting high enough expectations. The above type of thinking is part of the reason 16 year-olds act like they are too fidgety to sit down and be quiet in church for two hours, and college freshmen are getting kicked out of classes because they are talking while a professor is lecturing (yes, this happens). We have fostered an environment where many students feel like they are incapable of exercising discipline, or that it is not required or expected of them. This is detrimental to our kids in the long run.

As I have mentioned in previous blogs, the main token of information that I will take from this experience is that the bulk of the work that needs to be done to improve education in high poverty areas must be done in the community, not in the school buildings. Of course there are many things to do within the schools to improve public education, but those things will have little effect if the students are not motivated to learn and don’t want to learn. Until our parents and students look at education as they did decades before – as an opportunity that has not always been available to black people and one that is too important to take for granted--we will continue to have high drop out rates, high school graduates that can barely read, and high school graduates that are ill-equipped for the workforce or college of any kind. This is what I’ll take with me to my next stop, whatever it may be. And perhaps one day I’ll be able to affect education from outside the school building; just because I am leaving the building doesn’t mean I will forget about it.

2008-03-26T15:18:00.000-07:00

SICK DAYS ARE NO FUN

I went to school Tuesday while sick (because the district will dock your pay if you miss a day following a holiday, unless you have a doctor's excuse--I think). The students informed me that I should not have come to school to spread my germs everywhere and insisted that I needed to go home and focus on getting well. In fact, one student told me that she was going to tell the administrators that I needed to go home because I might have T.B.! (I do NOT have T.B.) They told me that I should take yesterday and today off, and I decided that their suggestion wasn't a bad idea.

I must say though, taking a sick day when you're actually sick is no fun at all. I spent most of yesterday coughing and sleeping and wondering if my students were terrorizing the substitute. I learned from one of the teachers that my students, who have been complaining that I need to occasionally miss a day, actually complained that I picked a bad day to miss because so many of the students were pulled from class for one reason or another. Well, excuse me for being sick on a day that was not convenient to my spoiled students.

At six o'clock this morning, with me still coughing and my voice still too weak to actually teach, I decided that I would rest another day. Hopefully I'll feel well enough to go to work tomorrow. Hopefully my voice will have returned. And hopefully the next time I take a sick day it'll be of the "mental health" variety - you know, those days where I am physically well and actually able to somewhat enjoy the day.

2008-03-26T14:20:00.000-07:00

MY MOST REGRESSED STUDENT

I recognized one of my students as one of the brighter ones in my math class near the beginning of the school year. She would occasionally miss days of school, but when she did attend class, she caught on very quickly and always outperformed most of the students who had been there every day. For the most part, she turned in her homework assignments, and unlike most of my students, her homework assignments were relatively accurate. She made a high B during the first term.

During the second term, the student began to miss many more days of school. Because the material was getting more complicated, when she did come to class, she was lost and unable to make up for the days missed. She began to put her head down in class and seemed to have become very uninterested in what was going on. I discovered that she was doing the same thing in other classes and that part of the reason was that she had gotten a part time job.

Due to the student's sporadic attendance, the student failed both the second and third term. During the third time, I began to inform the student's mother when the student was not attending class. Apparently, the student was cutting school without the mother's knowledge. While the mother's involvement caused some improvement in the student's attendance and performance, much more will be needed in order for the student to pass the class.

This situation has made one point very clear - by the time a child is an upper-classman in high school, he/she should already have developed the character needed to be successful in life. It is very difficult for parents to control the behavior of a 16-18 year old when the parents are working and cannot keep their eyes on the child all day long.

2008-02-24T15:13:00.000-08:00

RIGOR

This year the school district has stressed implementing more rigorous lessons and assessments. I have attempted to comply. The results have been disheartening. The average grade on my last few tests have been circa 50. The failing students seem to find comfort in the fact that many sitting near them are failing also. I am annoyed because despite the fact that the students are not passing, they are not stepping up to the challenge. Rather than studying more (for most of them, studying at all), completing all assignments, and attending tutorial, the students are content to complain that if so many students are failing, then it must be the teacher's fault (despite the fact that with only a few exceptions, there are always students who make near 100 on the tests). While I do not contend to be the greatest teacher, I do know what I give my students everyday. If they were willing to put forth effort, they are given everything they need to succeed in my class.

While I am not at all sympathetic to the kids' failing grades because of their lack of effort, I do feel like they have been somewhat ambushed with a harder curriculum and tougher expectations. It is obvious that many of my students have reached me without having mastered basic mathematical skills like adding integers or fractions. It is not surprising that it would be challenging for the students to now have to apply those basic skills to more complicated concepts. It's like the bar has been raised for the children without the children being trained to be able to handle the greater challenge. I offer no excuse for them though. Life is not always fair. The students still need to tackle the challenges and put forth some effort to overcome them. It is the attitude of defeat that the students display that dooms them. It appears that before I teach math, I need to teach them to believe that they can have success even when it doesn't come easy.

2008-01-16T05:45:00.000-08:00

AFTER SCHOOL TUTORIAL

I haven't figured out if I've gotten lazy, or if I have just decided to spend my time more efficiently. First semester I stayed after school almost every single day for after school tutorial. I told my students that I would be there up to five each day. Very few of my students actually came to tutorial. When no students came, it was not completely a waste of time - I was able to grade papers, etc., but I could have done that in the comfort of my own home, and my work day would not seem so long.

This semester, since afterschool tutorial for the state tested subjects (I don't teach any of those) have begun, I told my students that I would do after-school tutorial by appointment only. This actually made sense for more than one reason. One, on many afternoons, I will need time to meet with people to try to set up a job for next year! Second, my school has this new thing where teachers have to walk down to the auditorium after school to "pick up" their students to take them back to the classroom for tutoring. It didn't make a whole lot of sense for me to walk downstairs to the opposite end of the building to find that no student needed my help on most days.

I also told my students that I would not tutor them unless they can show me notes from the lesson they need help with. Many of my students had begun to daydream in class with the assurance that they could get the missed information after school. Not any more! My voice is a commodity, and I have been stressing it out lately (by the end of the day, it is usually very weak). I refuse to have to do things twice just because a student doesn't do what he/she is supposed to in class.

2008-01-16T05:39:00.000-08:00

SUGGESTED SUMMER SCHOOL CHANGES

I suggest that summer school be structured such that at least some of the classes are taught on block schedule. All of the Jackson teachers, and many teachers from other districts teach strictly on a block schedule. Teaching a 50 minute period is very different from teaching a 90 minute period. It would be great for the new teachers to actually have practice planning for a longer period and teaching a full block.

I personally find it much more difficult to effectively teach 90 minutes than 50 minutes. The students are just like I am - barely able to keep their mind on one subject for an hour and a half. It takes experience to get to the point where a teacher uses those 90 minutes most efficiently.

I would also have those who ride the bus to Holly Springs to sign in on the bus, and those who drive separately to sign in at the school. That would mean three sign-in sheets, but I don't think that's too much considering the time it would save teachers who would not have to wait in line to sign in.

2007-11-15T05:08:00.001-08:00

BREAK NEEDED

Thanksgiving break is on the horizon, and I am giving thanks!! Even though I am not coaching this year, I am just as tired (if not more), and am in dire need of a break. At least this year I will actually get a chance to take a break instead of having to practice on Sunday, go to games on Monday and Tuesday, and practice the following weekend. I will get a chance to spend some time with my family members that I have not seen in some time, so I am excited.

Although, my "break" will not be much of a break, being that I will be spending quite a bit of time working on projects for MTC and grading papers. What I have realized is that although teachers get a lot of days off from work, they're not really days where we don't do work. The only time where there is nothing on our plate to do is summer vacation, and even then we're asked to attend workshops and professional development.

Regardless, at least I'll get to sleep late and do my work when I get ready to. I'll get a little break from the wining of my students and hopefully be refreshed when we get back. We'll see.

2007-11-15T04:55:00.000-08:00

IF I COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT MTC, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

I think it would be great if MTC held classes at least once or twice a semester at a remote location - perhaps Jackson. If not Jackson, some place in between Oxford and Jackson. There are so many MTCers that live in and around Jackson that it makes a lot of sense to me. One of my problems with MTC is the danger involved in us working full-time jobs (some even coaching in addition to teaching), and then having to drive such a distance to Oxford on the weekends with little to no rest.

Last year, it was a regular occurrence for me to almost fall asleep on the road, only being jarred back to alertness by the sound of my tire hitting the side of the highway. While I had gotten used to it, my friends and family were afraid for me every time I had to drive to class. I finally also got to the point where I was afraid that I would not make it safely. It did not help that so many people were involved in accidents on the way to or from Oxford.

I understand that we are given an hotel room to help out with this problem, but many people's schedules do not allow them to leave early enough such that the dangers of late night/early morning driving can be avoided. Last year, rather than ride the bus to some of our away games, I often had to drive from Jackson to a Delta town for our basketball game, and then leave the game to drive to Oxford. I usually did not make it there until rather late.

I guess this is what I signed up for when I chose to attend graduate school 2.5 hours away, but I must say, at the time I did not think about the danger involved.

2007-10-11T04:20:00.000-07:00

RELAXING OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL, ON A BUDGET

First of all, the most important thing is to recognize and accept the fact that you will never have everything done. There will always be something else to do, even if you work twenty hours per day. So why work 20 hours a day and be miserable, when there will still be work left to do! I learned this lesson from my prior life experiences, so I have not allowed teaching to stress me as much as some. Having accepted this fact, the key is to actually take the time to enjoy life outside of work. Set aside time, and stick to it! Believe me, the papers to grade will be there when you get back!

Now the question is what is there to do? Mississippi does not have a great nightlife (understatement, huh?). So, much of your fun/entertainment simply comes from the people that you know. I would make it a point to try to make friends who are not teachers so that you can hang out with them on occasion and not have to talk about teacher stuff. Where do you meet these friends? Join an organization that involves one of your interests. If you are church-going, don't just go to church on Sunday. Actually attend some of the church events like picnics, socials, dinners, singles groups, or one of the ministry groups. At one point I attended church activities about once every one or two months, and it was a great opportunity to unwind and have a good time. Once you have identified one or two people with whom you share interests and enjoy hanging out with, your Friday night entertainment may simply be going out to dinner with that group, or going to a get-together at someone's house. Nothing like a night on the town in a big city, but still a way to get your mind off teaching.

If you are into sports, attend some football or basketball games - high school or college. Don't just limit yourself to attending your schools' events. If there is a great matchup going on, or if there is a star college recruit playing somewhere nearby, check it out.

In the Jackson area, check the newspapers and radio ads for upcoming events. There is always some type of play or concert coming up soon, and some of them are very reasonably priced. Check the calendars of the local colleges. They always have activities going on. (By the way, the fair is in town!)

For me, relaxing outside of school is simply sitting in front of the tv on a Saturday, with plenty of food nearby, and watching some highly ranked football team get upset by a 20 point underdog. The simple answer is, whatever it is that you like to do (read, knit, run, etc.), set aside some time for it, and do it.

2007-10-11T04:06:00.000-07:00

TEACHING STYLE

I don't think that my teaching style has changed drastically from last year to this year. I am still pretty much a straight-forward, no frill type of teacher. I am rather business-like most of the time. To a certain extent, I do try to lighten the mood of the class more often than last year. I joke with the students a little bit more. I have found that even though in my mind my teacher's personality should be irrelevant to what I can learn from that teacher, it seems that part of getting a child's attention is for them to see you as a human being. My students are constantly asking me personal questions and are always unhappy with my responses ("My personal life is irrelevant to how you perform in this class," or "maybe I'll tell you later"). I do give them bits and pieces, but not a whole lot!

Other than slight changes in my attitude and demeanor, I'd say that I also allow a much more free-flowing classroom than last year during independent practice or group work time. I was somewhat forced into this because geometry is difficult to teach in a big group settting, and it is impossible for me to give sufficient one-on-one help to all the students that need it during class, so it is just about mandatory that I allow other students to assist them during class. There's a trade-off that takes place because along with the conversation about how to construct an angle using a protractor, there will also be conversations about who wore what to the game Friday. So, my class is not as structured as last year, but I think my students are learning more than last year too.

This year I have also made it a point to break up my lessons more often. If I am trying to cover multiple objectives, I will teach one, let them work out some problems/do an activity while I walk around and assist, and then teach the next one, and do the same. The students do not like to get too much at once.

2007-09-06T03:55:00.000-07:00

HEALTH ISSUES

This year it became very obvious to me the importance of remaining healthy as a teacher. Given the physical aspects of teaching (standing long periods of time and having to be "on" practically all day), it is quite difficult to survive in moments of sickness of injury. At the beginning of the year, I had rather serious back pain for about the first two weeks of school. The situation was so bad that I had to sit at times during class, and as soon as work was over, I would go home, eat, and get directly into bed by no later than 5 o'clock or 5:30. I did not dare do any work like grading or the like because I thought that if I did not lie down the entire night, there would be no way that I could go to work the next day. It was not a good experience, and it made me have a much better appreciation for health, something that I often take for granted. Thankfully, after a visit to the doctor and taking some of the medication that was prescribed, my back eventually stopped hurting.

Almost as soon as my back stopped hurting, I started suffering from either the onset of a cold or sinus problems, don't know which one. Again, I would get home from school, drug myself, and lie down. While the cold, sinus issues, whatever it was, was not extremely debilitating, I did not feel well and was not in a good mood. Of course, these things matter when your job is to work with children all day, and when you are already lacking patience, as I readily admit. I honestly considered taking a day off from school to let my body rest, but I did not because I have never taken a sick day and don't want to start -- I may not be able to stop :-)

Anyway, I'm fine now and have almost gotten caught up from the three weeks of not doing much work at home. Hopefully my body won't fail me the rest of the way. I was actually drafted to work the concession stand of our football game this week. I am now seriously debating backing out though, since I am afraid that it might irritate my back like it did last year.

2007-09-06T03:32:00.000-07:00

THIS YEAR VS. LAST YEAR

Unlike many, my second year of teaching has not started off as well as my first year of teaching for several reasons. Last year, I was excited about teaching and was still hopeful that teaching might be my career of choice. This year, I have already concluded that teaching K12 is not a lifetime career for me. I am well aware of my strengths and weaknesses and am very honest with myself about my shortcomings. I know that my personality is definitely not a fit for teaching children. I don't have the type of patience required in order to be an effective teacher of children. I need to teach adults. While I know that there is a reason for me teaching in high school last year and even this year (whatever that may be), I also know that teaching is not for me.

This year has also not been as good as last year because of my class schedule. I only have one section of the only course that that I actually like to teach, and 5 sections of the subjects that I don't like (and even told my administrators that). I am not an actor. I am an open book. Whatever I think and feel, it is pretty obvious to the world. Therefore, my less than enthusiasm about what I teach is likely very apparent to my students. I can't make them be excited about learning something that I'm not excited about teaching.

On top of the above, I have about 60 more students this year as compared to last year. Therefore, in many ways, I have to operate my class very differently than last year. I spend much more time controlling behavior this year. Like I said, I don't have patience for that.

So, obviously I haven't had the typical the second year is better than the first experience. I'm sure a lot of it has to do with my attitude, but that's not an easy thing to change. Good thing is that I have done many things for longer periods of time than this that I don't like, so I'll continue to teach this year, and the students will hopefully continue to learn. At the same time, I'll be searchig and applying for my next job.

2007-07-06T04:28:00.000-07:00

WANTED: BREAK TIME

If ever there is a professional that desparately NEEDS a two-month summer vacation, it is a teacher. After teaching for the last 11 months, I am somewhat bitter that I only have a one-month vacation rather than two months. However, I am just happy that the vacation has arrived!

I think about how enthusiastic I was when I first started teaching in summer school last year, and even when the fall semester started. I then compare my teaching during that time period to the teaching that I did toward the end of this school year and during summer school. It is sad to say, but I may very well have been a better teacher back then. It is mentally and physically taxing to teach children all day long. If you are not fresh, it is difficult to maintain patience and enthusiasm. I am the kind of person whose feelings are rather transparent, so it is almost impossible for me to fake it when I am mentally and/or physically tired. When I have to be in a classroom in that condition (and of course, it happens), the students unfortunately don't get my best. I'm sure I'm not the only one. In order for schools to get the best out of teachers, summer vacation is essential.

I hope that my little month will be adequate for the purpose of refreshing my mind, body, and soul so that I can return to school in August not just to teach, but to be enthusiastic about teaching. I don't feel like that now, but maybe I will after a few weeks of R & R.

2007-07-06T04:09:00.000-07:00

WHY SUMMER SCHOOL

This summer, just like last summer, I couldn't understand why many of the students didn't pass their classes during the school year. Not only did the students often perform well on tests, but they were able to quickly learn new methods of solving problems. Very few students seemed to have an actual problem with grasping the material. On the last day of school, I made it a point to speak with several of the summer school students about why they were attending summer school. Some of the reasons were mind-boggling. Others of them I could have guessed. Several students did not successfully pass courses during the school year because they missed too many days of school. Some of the reasons for missing school were legitimate (for example, illnesses); other reasons were inexcusable. A couple of the students missed school specifically because they were habitually disrespectful to teachers/administrators and were therefore suspended numerous times.

One student admitted that she failed courses during the school year because she frequently slept in class. As a result, she didn't know how to do her homework, and because she didn't do her homework, she eventually stopped going to class!!?? I asked her if she slept in class because she had a job or some other type of responsibility. Her response: she was up all night on the telephone!

The reasons the students gave for having to attend summer school are indicative of the motivation problems that plague our schools. It also shows the extent to which some children do not consider the consequences of their actions prior to making decisions. Furthermore, it shows that too many of our children do not have an appreciation of the value gained by investing in education now, even if it is at the expense of some fun and playtime. The mentality of so many of our youth is, to be quite frank, scary. I can only pray that we can figure out a way to right this train.

2007-06-22T16:10:00.000-07:00

EDCI 602 BLOG # 2

Of the lessons that I taught this summer, my students were most successful at mastering the learning goal of utilizing the order of operations to simplify mathematical expressions. I think the students were able to master this objective for several reasons. First, this is an objective that the students have been introduced to numerous times. Therefore, the students were simply being refreshed on something they already knew. Secondly, when I reviewed the order of operations, I pointed out the typical mistakes that students make (for example, failing to perform operations from left to right when multiplication and division are consecutive operations, or when addition and subtraction are consecutive operations). I gave several examples containing the common student pitfalls, and therefore encouraged the students to be careful when those types of problems arise. Also, because the objective is a relatively simple one, I had ample time to allow the students to practice the concept by participating in a class activity.

The concept that I taught in which the students were least successful in mastering the learning goal was solving a system of equations by using elimination. I think that the students’ lack of success on this objective was due to the fact that solving a system of equations involves numerous steps. Typically, the more steps it takes to solve a problem, the more likely it is that a student will either forget the steps, or make mistakes that will lead to inaccurate answers. Therefore, at least part of the problem with the students’ performance on this objective is that many of them did not perform accurate computations while solving the problem. Another reason for the students’ lack of success on this learning goal was that I did not have enough time in the period to allow the students to have independent practice so that I could point out their mistakes. Due to the numerous steps that are involved in solving a system of equations, the lesson was very lecture-heavy with not enough student activity.

My instructional procedures over the course of the summer have varied according to the complexity and number of objectives I was responsible for teaching during a given lesson. A typical lesson involves review of the previous lesson, introduction of the new topic and instruction on the procedures for solving a specific type of problem, guided practice, followed by an activity or independent practice. I typically do a lot of board work and incorporate a lot of verbal repetition into the lesson. For example, I will repeatedly ask the students throughout the lesson about major concepts that they need to understand. I also have students put problems on the board and ask the students questions throughout the lesson to make sure that they are attentive. For the most part, the students appeared to catch on to the concepts that were taught. While my instructional procedures have been somewhat effective, I think that the students would have achieved a better level of mastery on some of the lessons if I were able to spend more time on some of the lessons and design additional activities to give the students more practice. However, due to time constraints of a short summer school session, that was not always possible.

I differentiated instruction by writing important concepts and example problems on the board or overhead (visual); verbally repeating and requesting that students repeat procedures for solving problems (auditory); providing handouts which show step-by-step instructions for solving problems (visual); and allowing students to actively participate in the lessons by going to the board or doing activities individually or as a pair (kinesthetic). Some of the activities included a paper folding activity during which students created study material that showed translations between verbal and algebraic expressions and examples of each; a relay activity involving the order of operations; and matching activities in which students match related mathematical expressions. During guided practice and independent practice, I also went by students’ desks and pointed out errors to them and explained to them where they were making mistakes

As mentioned previously, the students’ performance could be improved if there were additional time for in-class practice exercises and activities for complex objectives. In the context of a brief summer school session, this could possibly have been achieved by combining lessons of easier objectives, thereby creating more time for objectives that students find more difficult. I definitely need to find a way to incorporate more instruction that is geared toward kinesthetic learners. In addition, I would like to more often guide the students toward discovering rules and concepts rather than just telling them directly.

2007-06-14T21:43:00.001-07:00

EDCI 602 BLOG # 1

In making decisions regarding which six lessons to teach first in our algebra class, we thought about the basic computational skills that are necessary in order to be successful in algebra and upper level math courses. Both I and the other second year teacher taught algebra two during the school year. We used our knowledge of the weaknesses of our algebra two students to determine what foundational lessons needed to be covered at the beginning of an algebra course. Last year, I learned that one of the most challenging aspects of the class for the students is performing accurate computations. Thus, the first few lessons of the summer school session were designed to give the students the basic foundation to eventually be able to relate a real world problem to an algebraic problem, and to accurately perform the computations that are necessary to solve the algebraic problems.

The lesson on translating between verbal and algebraic expressions is the beginning foundation for being able to translate real world problems to algebraic equations and inequalities. The lessons on simplifying and evaluating expressions by performing operations on integers, rational numbers, and irrational numbers, order of operations, and scientific notation, were aimed at making sure the student is able to correctly perform the computations that may be necessary to solve a specific problem.

Because the ultimate goal of an algebra course is to teach the student how to solve real world problems algebraically, the above objectives are appropriate. The objectives are appropriate in terms of development because a thorough understanding of the above topics is needed in order to be successful in the course. For example, a student will not be able to successfully solve an equation if he/she does not know how to correctly add integers and fractions or does not know the order of operations (when solving an equation, the inverse operations are performed in opposite order).

With regard to instructional decisions, we decided to primarily utilize the following lesson structure: input (lecture), modeling, guided practice, individual or group activity, closure, and time permitting, independent practice (homework). We use the guided practice and independent practice time to individually assist students at their desks as needed. It was important for us to include an activity in the lessons in order to keep the students engaged, especially since the students are attending the same class for four hours. Examples of the types of activities included matching a problem with the appropriate rule to simplify the problem, and a relay process of performing the order of operations such that every student had a particular role in solving the problem. We also decided to incorporate into our lessons review of the prior lessons since the course is very fast-paced. Furthermore, when possible, we included review of topics which were not able to be taught in separate lessons given the brevity of the course. For example, the classifications of real numbers were reviewed during the lesson on integers and fractions.

The inductive strategy of concept attainment was employed in the lesson on scientific notation. The teacher drew a line down the middle of the whiteboard and began writing numbers on either side of the board, pausing every so often to prompt students to articulate the rules of scientific notation. This strategy was selected because in order for the student to master the objective for writing numbers in scientific notation and performing operations in scientific notation, he/she must recall what scientific notation format looks like and must be able to distinguish it from standard notation. The inductive method helps the student to remember the format because the student was engaged in a process that allowed the student to consider for himself/herself the differences between scientific notation and other ways of writing numbers.

2007-06-03T05:18:00.000-07:00

YES, THE MONEY DOES MATTER

Prior to becoming a teacher, and even throughout the year, I was convinced that the low pay teachers receive is not a big factor in high teacher turnover and the difficulties school districts experience in recruiting good teachers. However, the truth of the matter is that money is a contributing factor. Perhaps if being a teacher were not so demanding, depressing, and aggravating, (yes, teaching can be all these things at times) the low salary wouldn't matter. However, when you throw in all the negative experiences that come along with being a teacher, it does make a person say, I could be doing something else and making a whole lot more money than this.

I am a very practical person when it comes to money. That means that I do not believe in spending more money than I take home. For the most part, if I don't have the cash to buy something, I won't buy it. This year I have survived without cable, without taking any long distance trips, and without buying many new clothes. Even being this frugal, I would still probably be in the red if it were not for the fact that I eat most meals at my parents' home. So the question that I ask myself is how does someone raise a family like this? (assuming that both parents are teachers) Perhaps those who have the passion to teach kids in the school system are willing to make great sacrifices to do that. However, people like me, who have a passion for kids but not necessarily a passion to teach in the school system, are moved to pursue something else and contribute to education in a different way.

I have never made a decision just on the basis of money. I actually don't think my decision to stop teaching at the conclusion of next year is all about money either. However, I am willing to admit that it is a contributing factor. I think that ultimately I am looking for something to do that is in agreement with my principles, aligned with my personality, and allows me to at least live comfortably. For many reasons, teaching is not it.

2007-06-02T15:23:00.000-07:00

GUILT TRIP

Last Friday, the underclassmen's last day at school (the seniors finished last Monday), I received a phone call on my cell phone just as I was pulling into my driveway. Apparently, one of my students had gotten my phone number from her mother's caller id when I called to speak to the mother regarding the student's grades. The student proceeded to ask me whether the grade that she received in the class was correct. I informed her that it was; it was a 69. The student then began to cry and inform me that my class was keeping her from graduating. She wanted to know if there was anything she could do to get an extra point. I told her, with regret in my heart, that there was nothing to be done at this point. I told her that I structured the class such that students would be able to do those extra things all throughout the year so that it would not come down to the wire and a situation where I would have to grade numerous extra papers and tests. I told her that is why I allowed retests, assigned projects to pull up low test grades, provided tutoring services, and even allowed a comprehensive final exam to weigh heavily such that a student who was failing could pass if the student showed on the exam that he/she had mastered the material. Needless to say, the final exam showed that the young lady had not mastered the material, and I felt morally obligated to give her the failing grade that she earned.

After stating her case for a few minutes, the student broke down crying and said that she would call me back. A few minutes later, she called again. At this point, she started laying it on thick. While making herself seem quite sympathetic, she pretty much painted me as an insensitive teacher who was ruining her life. She told me that I don't know what goes on in her home or what's happening in her life that prevents her from coming after school for tutorial or from doing better in the class. She also told me, as if I don't want the same for her, that she wants to be something in life. Furthermore, she insisted, I should consider the fact that she attended class regularly and was never a behavior problem. While, in my mind, I was definitely suffering from a guilt trip, I informed her that this situation would not prevent her from being something in life. I told her that obstacles will always arise in life, and this was just one of them. It was up to her to have the determination and will to overcome the obstacle. I told her that although I understood that she was hurting, she should dust herself off and make up her mind to pass the class in summerschool and go on to reach all of the great goals that she has set for herself.

After our conversation, I was indeed second guessing my decision. But after thinking about it for a few days, I was sure that I had done the right thing. It does students no good to receive things that they have not earned; it gives them an unrealistic view of life that will harm them in the long run.

I attended graduation on Wednesday night. After all that, the student actually walked. Apparently she didn't need the class to graduate!

2007-05-06T06:46:00.000-07:00

NO AIR

While my previous posting did not make me feel better about having to blog, it did at least provide me with something to write about (the last paragraph that I erased from my previous blog). Now that I have a subject, and now that I am figuring out how to make what could be a clear, succinct writing, become a confusing, poorly written, redundant, rambling, 500-word writing that will certainly be unenjoyable for the unlucky people that come across this blog, I think I can finally finish this assignment and move on to the more important things in my life (my niece who has awakened and is hungry and my job that pays the bills, well some of the bills).

Just so you all (if I were not trying to get 500 words, I probably would have used the contraction ya'll here) know, if this posting did not have to be 500 words, my posting would have started here: Several weeks ago I was informed that the air would be turned off in our building May 1st and would not be on for the remainder of the school year. I immediately saw visions of me sitting at my desk in a ninety-nine degree classroom for the entire 90 minutes of each block with sweat running profusely down my face, a folded paper serving as a make-shift fan in one hand, and a water bottle in the other hand. In this vision, I also saw all of my students with their heads down and wearing sweat-soaked t-shirts and blouses. Unfortunately, my classroom is on the second floor of the building, and until two weeks ago, all of my windows were sealed shut. The idea of having to come to work everyday with no air and no open windows was horrific. I thought, you have to be kidding me.

Since that time, the air has indeed been turned off. However, the custodians were able to open three of my windows. The school also provided a fan for my room since up until that point and despite my students' constant begging, I had not bought a fan to put in the room. Last week was not as bad as it could have been since it was cloudy and cooler than usual for this time of year. Although the conditions are not ideal, I think we will make it until the end of the year without falling out from heat exhaustion, and I am hopeful that my visions will not become reality. (A little less than one hundred words to go.)

As I think about my reaction to the idea of no air, I think about how spoiled we (including myself) as a society have become. When I was in elementary, we did not have air conditioning. We had windows and fans, and no one used the absence of air as an excuse to not teach or not work hard as a student. A speaker I heard recently told the story of visiting a class in another country which was held outside on a daily basis. When it started raining, the students did not move, and the lesson continued. That story tells a lot about how much those students and teachers valued education and did not take it for granted. Then I think about the conditions of the facilities and materials that my parents, uncles, and aunts, used while getting a K-12 education. They would have never complained and would have been grateful for what we have, no air and all. I'm just like my students. I need to have my mindset adjusted every now and then.

605 words - I'm still bitter about these blogs.

2007-05-06T06:11:00.000-07:00

A BLOG ABOUT SOMETHING...I'LL FIGURE OUT WHAT AS I GO

I do believe that just about everyone in this program has had or will have that moment when he/she suddenly realizes that required blogging is pointless, time-consuming, and frankly, a pain in the you know what. Actually, my moment was pretty much the first day I heard about the requirement, but I am just now deciding to write about it. Why now you might ask? There are many reasons.

One, I fell asleep on the couch last night with a full stomach, my niece sleeping peacefully on the other end of the couch, and a happy smile on my face. I awakened this morning with a very unhappy thought - blogs are due. Not one, but two of them. AND they must be 500 words. What if I don't have 500 words of something to say (obviously, I don't... thus the rambling. Just imagine how the second blog will sound.)

Two, three, four, and five: I need to go to "the country" (to those who don't know, that means a rural Mississippi town where my family is from... a town so small it has no stop lights and only a few stop signs); I need to grade projects and tests; I need to make my semester exams; and I am babysitting my niece for several days. In a nutshell, there is opportunity cost involved as I sit here and type this. I'm only at 241 words, so that means I have to ramble twice as much as I already have.

There are many more important things that I could be doing right now. I am rather annoyed right now, and I just hope that when my niece wakes up I will not direct my annoyance at her being that she has not done anything wrong.

I think I was willing to tolerate this foolishness when there were no length requirements. I did what I was asked to do, reluctantly but without the bitterness that I feel right now. My blogs were already somewhat lengthy - but they made some sort of sense. When I finished what I had to say, I posted the blog. Now when I finish what I have to say, I have to copy and paste into a word document and see if I'm at 500 words. Only 370 words - still a lot more rambling necessary. I wonder if after 500 words of venting if I will feel better about blogging. For some reason, I doubt that very seriously.

Let me see ..... um ... I wore sandals to school last week for the first time since the weather started getting cooler in the fall. My students acted like this was the first time I had ever worn sandals and seemed to be quite amused that I would show my toes. My toes are not beautiful, but I informed them that it is hot, and I want to be comfortable just like you do.

Two more words - I think that did it. (Actually I had another paragraph that made it 589 words, but I need to save those words for the second blog.)

2007-04-01T06:51:00.000-07:00

What I Think About Athletics at My School

I am a big sports fan! Football, basketball, and tennis are my favorite. As a former high school athlete, I think that athletics are an integral part of the educational experience. Although I can never know for sure, I am rather confident that I would not have accomplished many of the achievements that I have made so far had I not participated in basketball as a junior high school student. Because I was so shy, my junior high school coach had to literally drag me onto the court the first time she called me into a game. I went from having to be dragged onto the court in seventh grade to being a captain of the team my junior and senior years. My growth as a basketball player was not limited to the basketball court either; it spilled over into other areas of life as well. Many high school athletes receive similar benefits from athletics—leadership, self-confidence, discipline, etc.—which is the reason I cringe at the thought of schools without athletic programs. While some people may see athletic programs as unimportant auxiliaries, I see them as necessities.

Many students only perform in school because they know that they have to in order to remain eligible and have an opportunity to play a sport in college. Although I would rather students value education independent of athletics, I have come to the point where I can appreciate a student’s motivation to do well in school no matter where that motivation may come from. The truth of the matter is that athletics pays the way for many young people to receive a college education. That can’t happen if the student doesn’t have the opportunity to develop his or her skills through a high school athletic program.

At my school, the administrators and teachers value a vibrant athletic program. Basketball is king at my school. Everyone wants to be on the team, and the team members are like stars in the local community. The team’s fans are very loyal and are willing to travel near and far.

Unfortunately, from my observation, many of the students do not show the same commitment to other sports as they do to basketball. Very few students will even come out for sports other than basketball. I won’t even use the term “try out,” because many of the teams will suit up everyone that shows up given the small number of students that elect to participate. It is actually quite disturbing given the considerable amount of talent present in our student body. All too often, students who have signed up to be on a team will miss practice because they “had to work” or just because. The commitment isn’t there, and the performance is sub-par as a result. I know that the coaches of those sports are disappointed given the considerable amount of time and energy that they put in. For these sports, the coaches face the same puzzling question on the playing field as they face in the classroom—how to motivate children to do their best under every circumstance and in every situation.

2007-04-01T06:12:00.000-07:00

Absent Students

If I were to compare the grade each of my students received each term to the number of days the student attended class, I am sure that almost all of the F’s and D’s were earned by students who missed more than three days of class each term. Some of my students have particular patterns of absences. Some are absent everyday; others come to school about once a week; and still others come every other day (only on A or B days…I guess they have a class or two that they like on one of the block days??). Then there are those students who come to school everyday but are absent from my class because of school events or activities. Those students are just as disadvantaged when they miss class as the students who choose to stay at home for the day because they don’t want to get out of bed.

So, what can I do to help students pass when they are not in class? Although I give the students the assignments that they missed while out, few of my students are able to read the textbook and learn what they need in order to work the homework problems. I do incorporate a mini-lesson of the prior day’s lesson in every class period, but that is usually not enough to help the students who were absent to catch up (especially the students who instead of missing only one day at a time miss several days or even weeks at a time). I also offer tutoring during my planning periods and after school, but very few students take advantage of that. The result is frustrated students who are behind and don’t know how to catch up, as well as a frustrated teacher who has no clue how to structure the class so that students can miss class and somehow still catch up upon their return to class. (Suggestions are welcome on this one.)

This is an issue that is particularly on my mind right now being that state tests are quickly approaching, and I know that students will need to miss class to make sure that they are fully prepared for those. There are many students who are straddling the fence between passing and failing. I know that if I keep the class structured as it is, and those students miss several classes, it will be unlikely that those students will be able to raise their grades. So far, I have been more flexible with homework assignments – telling students a week in advance when all homework assignments for the unit are due instead of taking up homework everyday. This way, when students miss class, they still have several days to learn the material and complete their assignments. For one of my classes, I am going to assign several online lessons that students can complete without my assistance. I definitely think I am going to try to restructure this term such that more of the learning is independent learning. Teaching definitely becomes much more challenging when the ideal setup for student success – the student’s actual presence in the classroom – is no longer a given.

2007-03-04T05:20:00.000-08:00

THIRD TERM FAILURE

I have noticed that my students' grades for the third term are dismal. I know that not using partial credit is a contributing factor, but there is something going on beyond that. (Many of the students would have failed the tests anyway - partial credit or not.) I cannot quite figure out what the problem is. Is it the fact that all of the information builds on itself, and that if the students never truly mastered the first semester information, it is very difficult to be successful the first semester? Is it just the fact that the concepts we are covering are much more complex? Is it the fact that the students can smell the end of the year coming and are simply slacking off? Is it the fact that very few of my students are actually in class and on task every day? Are they neglecting my classes in favor of spending more time on state tested subjects? Is my instruction worse than it was the first semester? I would like to know what is causing such a dramatic drop in performance so that I can attempt to address it. (I am willing to take some responsibility for my students' lack of success, but definitely not all of it.)

Last semester I was willing to drop the lowest test grade for either one or both of the first two terms while the students were still getting used to me. This semester, I told them that I would not drop a grade and that they should retake any tests that they fail because the grade would otherwise count. If I stick to this, I am afraid that the percentage of my students failing for the term will be more than twice what it has been. Most of my students either do not take the time to come after school to take a retest, or if they do, they don't take advantage of the fact that I am willing to tutor them to better prepare them for a retest. They instead come in and ask to take the test right away, and often perform worse on the retest than on the original test.

I can now see why grade inflation exists. If I fail a large percentage of my students, I will likely have to justify the large failure rate to an administrator. I don't really want to deal with that. Then there are the parents who might decide to come up to the school ranting and raving. I do not want to be in a position of having to deal with a hostile parent because, frankly, I don't know how I will handle myself. I am typically able to hold my emotion until after a meeting and not just go off on somebody in the heat of anger, but there are those moments when the anger runs over. My students keep telling me that my class is messing up their GPA or that my class is the only class that they're not doing well in. I don't pay much attention to this, however, because often when I ask them how have they done previously in similar classes, they will admit that they barely squeaked by.

Before I become too alarmed, I will see how things shake out next week. There is still hope since the students have two test grades remaining - a test and a paper - that will give them the opportunity to bring up their grades. I hope that they are taking these seriously.

2007-03-04T04:44:00.000-08:00

THE PATH TOO OFTEN TAKEN

From November to February, I lost sleep for numerous reasons - coming home late after a basketball game; staying up late to finish homework for class or trying to complete an assignment for the online course that I am being forced to take; traveling to Ole Miss on the weekend (sometimes after driving to Greenwood or Indianola for a basketball game); getting up early for work or church; etc., etc. After basketball season ended, I was very disappointed that our team did not make it to the Coliseum even though we were definitely talented enough to make it there, but at the same time I looked forward to having a little more personal time and some time to get adequate rest. Unfortunately, the rest has still not yet come. I have been trying to catch up with some of the grading that I didn't have time to do for the last couple of weeks. I guess I will have to save the sleeping marathon for spring break (except for the fact that I'll still be working on homework for class.)

Last week I lost sleep for another reason. A family member informed me one day that a store nearby had been robbed at gunpoint by two young people, and that the news channel showed the two people being arrested by the police. We wondered about whether it was hunger or an extreme need that would drive someone to rob an establishment in broad daylight. Of course we had no way of knowing the answer to that question. The following day, I overheard my students saying that they felt sorry for a particular student. I asked why, and they said as if I should have already known - you know she robbed that store.

I could not believe it. I would have never thought that one of the people involved in the incident that I heard about the previous day was one of my students. She was just in my class during one of my planning periods a few days before making up a test and talking to me about several things. I would never have seen it coming. That new information put me in a bad mood for the remainder of the day. I could not help but wonder if there was something more that I or another adult in her life could have done or said to her to discourage her from choosing that course of action. I have awakened in the middle of the night a few times wondering about this, and praying for her that there be some slim chance that she may one day overcome the consequences of her action.

My students spoke of her as if she were dead - "She was a good student, too." Unfortunately, events like this are often insurmountable for young people. All too often, after they have served their time, they are often stuck in a cycle of crime and drugs. I pray that my student does not follow that path, but the sad truth is that she he has already taken the first step on that path.

2007-02-06T21:02:00.000-08:00

NOT TOO CLOSE

One of the reasons that I became a teacher was to be in a position where I can positively influence and encourage young people. While the academic knowledge that a teacher gives to a student is important, I think some of the most long-lasting effects that a teacher can have on a student have nothing to do with book knowledge. A lot of times I hear people say that certain teachers affected their lives forever because the teachers believed in them, or the teachers listened to them, or the teachers genuinely cared about them. None of these things have anything to do with whether the teacher taught algebra or world history well.

Lately I have begun to wonder if I have neglected that part of teaching. I don't know if my students realize that I truly am concerned about them. I doubt if I actually show it in a way that is clear to them. It's hard for a young person to understand that when an adult gets on them for something, it's because of love for them and not dislike. I am generally a person that does not like to show a lot of emotion anyway, so I am sure that I probably come off as quite cold to my students. My classroom persona is often stern, straight-faced, and impersonal.

There have been several instances this year where some of my students' personal problems have been brought to my attention, and I just did not know how to handle them. My response to them was probably viewed as very detached and unconcerned. For example, when my students miss class, I tell them that the most they can get on make-up work is seventy-five percent unless they have excused absences. One time a student made the statement, you don't know what goes on in people's homes and what problems they are facing. My response: if you don't have an official excuse, the maximum grade you can receive is 75. The student was right though - I don't know what is happening in the lives of my students. I haven't really taken the time to stop and listen. The few times that my students have informed me about some bad home situations, I haven't even followed up with them to let them know that I am concerned.

Maybe I don't have to be that type of teacher - the type that students feel they can talk to. I don't know if that is my natural personality. I have never been the type of person that strangers could feel comfortable confiding in. Although I think I'm an empathetic person, I am very uncomfortable with showing what I feel or letting a person know that I am concerned. I'm the type of person that hears about people's problems and prays for them though they may never know it. I think I am struggling with the lines. I think that for the sake of sanity, I am trying to make sure that I don't get too close. But if that is my approach, can I ever be that teacher that touches the life of a student forever?

2007-02-05T18:54:00.000-08:00

PARTIAL CREDIT

So far this term I have given one quiz and one test in my Algebra II classes. Unlike last semester, I decided not to give partial credit - either the question is wrong or it's right. Also, I did not supply calculators for these assessments. The results: maybe 7 or 8 out of about 50 passed the quiz. I haven't finished grading the tests, but so far the red pen has been very, very busy.

Why did I make the sudden change? I was not pleased with the fact that students who made B's in my class last semester did not pass the cumulative semester exam. Although I had given partial credit on unit tests, I did not do so on the semester exam. I began to wonder if providing partial credit was giving the students a license to slack off and not pay attention to details. Since I generally agree that children will attempt to rise to the level of expectations set for them, I decided that I needed to raise the standards a bit. Whereas before the student would get the majority of the credit for doing everything right, except for making a mistake with adding integers, now that mistake would cost the student the whole question. I am hoping that this change will force the kids to pay attention to signs; memorize the rules for adding and subtracting integers; and read and follow directions.

My decision to stop giving partial credit also arose out of my principal's comments that our students' grades should reflect what they know. In other words, a student that fails the semester exam shouldn't make an A in the course under most circumstances. While I think that his comments were geared specifically towards state-tested subjects which have common, district-wide semester exams, I think his concerns apply to all subjects.

While I hate to admit it, I have probably been contributing to the grade inflation problem. I found out that several of my students that made A's or B's in my class the first semester have had much lower grades in their previous math classes. I should have been tipped off that I was being too easy when one of my students commented to me that he likes the way I grade. Being that I am always preaching to my students about the real world and what it takes to succeed in the real world, I think I would be letting them down if I continued to let them get by with subpar work. They have been catered to and given things for so long that they don't expect to have to earn anything. If I don't try to change that mentality, I will be failing them as a teacher.

Given the terrible grades, however, I have been wondering whether I will have to backtrack on my decision. I do offer retests, but honestly, most of the students don't do any better on the retests. I guess another option would be to offer extra credit work. I haven't come to a conclusion and am still waffling back and forth. Any suggestions or comments are welcome!

2006-12-09T02:09:00.000-08:00

SEMESTER REFLECTION

My first semester of teaching has been, in a nutshell, a lot of work. I have slept less on a regular basis than I have at any other point in life. I think the biggest challenge has been juggling so many things - lesson planning, grading, basketball, and weekend classes at the University of Mississippi. I never seem to be caught up. I think the most difficult part of this semester was being given a new prep and students midway through the semester. As a first year teacher, it is very difficult to stay on top of three preps. I am not as well-prepared with three preps as I was with just two.

One of the reasons that I decided to teach was because I understand education to be the biggest key to the improvement of the black community. I wanted to see for myself what is going on in schools. During this semester, my experiences have convinced me that the most important thing that needs to be changed in the school system is not teacher qualification, lesson planning, or the like, but rather the mentality of the students. I have noticed a culture of apathy and contentment with mediocracy or failure. Don't get me wrong. I have a few students who are hard workers and self-motivated. Unfortunately, I have many students who are lazy and act as if the world owes them something whether they work for it or not. I think that more attention needs to be paid to finding out how to raise a community of children who value education and are willing to put forth some effort. My take-home lesson for the semester has been that teachers can lesson plan, teach, tutor, and counsel until they're blue in the face, but if the pupil is not willing to learn, those efforts will not succeed. There is a lot of work to be done with our students on nonacademic issues like self-esteem and motivation which will greatly impact the students' ability to achieve academically.

Regarding the MTC classroom experiences this semester, the MTC classes have provided an opportunity to vent and discuss classroom issues that affect everyone. However, I must say, it's hard to drive to Oxford at 5 o'clock in the morning on class days.

Despite the challenges, I still enjoy teaching much more than my previous job. I enjoy the interaction with my peers and students on a daily basis. I am lucky in that I actually like my fellow teachers and am supported by my administrators, so that makes the job a lot easier.

2006-11-17T21:34:00.000-08:00

ENFORCING RULES AND CONSEQUENCES

It's late November, and I definitely don't adhere to my rules and consequences as much as I did in the beginning of the semester. I do not have the time or energy to do that all day every day. Honestly, I am willing to take the trade off of having a little less controlled class rather than having to keep up with who has made it to what consequence and losing my train of thought while lecturing because I have to write down that So-And-So must show up for detention on November 27 at 3:40 pm. This does not mean that my classroom is a free-for-all, but it is definitely nowhere close to being in 100% order.

Because my classes have been operating without major problems despite the fact that I have not been a rules and consequences stickler, I did not intend on doing this assignment. Instead, I planned to make something up since, as I said, my students are not guinea pigs to be experimented on for the sake of a class assignment. My students and I have a little rhythm going. Most of them are learning (I hope so anyway), and I don't feel like I need to change up on them now. However, it just so happens that I don't have to pass off a fabricated story for reality because about a month ago I was given a new prep - a geometry class of about 20 students. Therefore, I had the unique experience of having a "Day 1" in October.

At first I tried to treat them like my other classes. The second day I allowed them to work in groups, and the teacher across the hall commented that my class did not appear like my normal classes. The students were loud and terrible. I realized I would crash and burn if I tried to treat them like my other classes. This geometry class is full of students that are younger and less mature than my algebra II and physics class. Also, unlike most of my algebra II and physics students, many of my geometry students tell me that they have no intention of going to college. Some of them don't seem to care at all about school and act as if their mission is to come to school to terrorize the teachers. Therefore, for the sake of maintaining sanity, with this class I have been sticking to the rules and consequences. After that one bad day, I told all of the administrators that I would not be allowing the students in that block to talk at all and that I would be strictly enforcing my consequences, which could possibly mean a high number of referrals the following day if the students did not get in order. I didn't have to refer any students the following day, although a couple of students made it to the second consequence - a writing assignment.

Every day I have to give out consequences, although I notice that on days when certain students are absent, class flows a lot better. Today I had to refer a student because she would not stop talking during a test. Although I usually write and submit referrals at the end of the day, I buzzed the office and requested that the student be escorted from my room. That really got the other students' attention. I think I may handle office referrals like that more often since it shows the students that I actually do follow up with the subsequent consequences.

I definitely understand why some teachers try to avoid teaching in environments where there are discipline problems. I absolutely dread teaching my geometry class because I have to work so much harder to keep the class controlled. I am not able to focus as much on teaching. It definitely takes away from instruction when I have to stop to take notes or deal out a consequence. It is so much more efficient in my other classes when I can just say, "We should be quietly working on our bell ringer now," and move on, and not have to worry about the class getting out of control because I'm not dealing out consequences everytime somebody breathes.

2006-11-11T00:08:00.000-08:00

EVALUATION OF CLASSROOM MANAGEMENT PLAN

My classroom management plan has been sufficient, although I have cherry picked the parts of it that I implement daily. Although my class is not functioning exactly as I would like it, the important thing is that the 97% of my students that are ready to learn and are not being hindered from learning by the other 3 percent who just come to school for social hour.

I have made several changes to my rules and consequences. I replaced my first consequence, the written reprimand, with behavior improvement plan form that the student fills out. I don't require a parent signature. The students think it is very elementary, but they usually do it rather than have to do the second consequence, which is either detention or a one page writing assignment. I had to add the one page writing assignment as an option because most students would not come to detention before or after school because they ride the bus to school and/or have after school jobs. Also, a parent has to consent to detention and agree to provide transportation in order for the student to be held responsible for attending. Therefore, I've only held detention a few times.

Just as I thought, I am not a fan of rewards, and have used them sparingly. I eliminated the weekly drawings, mainly because I don't have time to do it. I use the little rewards like verbal praise, comments on papers, and positive reports to parents. I have given rewards (like homework passes) to students who have behaved well while other students have not. I can't really say that my rewards plans didn't work, but I have just not implemented them fully. Maybe next semester???

One modification for parental involvement is that I no longer require low test grades to be signed by parents. This is because few students actually brought the tests back signed, and I ended up having to call their parents anyway.

I have changed the emergency bathroom procedure. I tell the students that in cases of emergency, I will not block the doorway to prevent them from leaving, but that they must bring a pass from an administrator to be readmitted to the class.

I retained the entering classroom procedures, but I have no way to enforce them being that I have to stand in the middle of the hallway until the bell rings. While the students do put their homework in the homework box, and then sharpen pencils, they usually don't start the bell ringer until I come in and start walking around to check.

My philosophy of classroom management has not changed at all. However, now that I have a better understanding of my school's procedures and know how I need my classroom to operate, I have modified the initial plan.

2006-10-14T05:28:00.000-07:00

LEARNING STYLES INVENTORY

(Required Blog)

On the first day of school, I administered a simple learning style inventory to all of my classes. The inventory consists of 14 questions that supposedly indicate whether the student is a visual, auditory, or kinesthetic learner. According to the inventory, the majority of the students in all of my classes are visual learners, with only a few students being auditory or kinesthetic learners.

I am actually skeptical of the accuracy of the learning styles inventory. One student was identified by the survey as being a visual learner; however, in class, the student prefers activities. Perhaps his preference is not necessarily aligned with how he best learns material??

In my opinion, the learning styles inventory results are not helpful for my classroom teaching. Regardless of the results, I must plan lessons that reach all three types of learners - not only for the sake of catering to each learner, but also for the sake of breaking the monotony of a 90 minute class.

I also question the helpfulness of the learning styles inventory because it does not take into account that even a visual learner might best understand a lesson on a specific topic by engaging in a kinesthetic activity, or that an auditory learner might best learn a specific lesson by seeing a demonstration.

2006-09-16T02:37:00.000-07:00

UNDERSTANDING POVERTY

Prior to reading Ruby Payne's book A Framework for Understanding Poverty, I had to be reminded by a family member that I have to always remember that the family and home lives of many of my students affects whether my students are able to carry out my expectations of them. For example, when I complained about the fact that several of my students refused to stay after school to take a retest, I was reminded that some of them hold jobs in order to assist in paying bills. After reading the book, I am again prompted to consider such things, and I have a better idea about why my students do some of the things that they do, and why they don't do some of the things that I expect them to do.

One portion of the book that was particularly interesting to me was the part that discussed some of the possible reasons for a student's disrespectful behavior to a teacher. The book suggested that perhaps some students do not know many adults worth of respect. The book also suggested that a student who is a parent often has problems with teachers that use the "parent voice" with them in discipline situations. This section confirmed my assumptions that one of the problems I was having with one of my students was due to her perception of herself as an adult, and my treatment of her as a child, which she could not readily accept.

When reading the book, the creating relationships section was one of the most important sections for me. I became a teacher because I wanted to have the opportunity to build relationships with young people so that I may encourage and assist them in reaching lofty goals. The chart provided regarding creating good relationships with students will be helpful to me because, up to this point, I have been having difficulties fostering a mentoring relationship with my students because many of them think that I am too strict and unreasonable. The suggestions that I intend to implement more often are giving apologies and being open to feedback. I can think of some moments where I have said something in class to a student that I could have said in a much more tactful way for which an apology would be appropriate for the purpose of helping foster a relationship with the student. Also, although I do periodically mention the fact that I am open to feedback, I need to make sure that the students are aware of that and will feel free to provide feedback on a regular basis.

The discussion in the book regarding hidden rules among classes presented ideas that I had not really thought about. While I do understand that differences exist between the lifestyles of different classes, it was an eye-opener to be explicitly informed that some of the routine things that I take for granted as being understood or observed by just about everybody are only observed by a certain class.

One of my problems with reading the books was the blanket generalizations, even though I am aware that it is necessary for a book like this to address issues in this manner, and despite the fact that the generalizations are probably true in many instances.

2006-07-23T20:52:00.000-07:00

ANTICIPATION

Several things happened this week that increased my anticipation of the first day of school. Thursday I finally signed my contract, and I had the opportunity to visit my classroom. I was overwhelmed with the question in my mind: how will I decorate my classroom? Creativity is one of many things the Lord didn't find it necessary to bless me with, so it is clear that I'm going to have to have to call on some friends and family to help me out with decorating.

Visiting the classroom also made me more excited about the upcoming year. If teaching is anything like the experience I had in Holly Springs, I think that I will genuinely enjoy it. I am optimistic right now. I expect to have some good days and bad days, but I am hopeful that the good days will be much more abundant.

While many of my friends and family discouraged me from taking this path, they have recently given me very encouraging and supportive comments. Although, I am wondering if they are secretly making bets about whether I will be mass mailing resumes to law firms after two months of school.

This weekend, my high school class reunion was held. Several of my classmates are also teachers. Many of them have taught for several years and seem to be enjoying life. Talking to them made me feel like I made a good decision.

This evening, I watched the Tom Brokaw report on a Jackson high school entitled Separate and Unequal. The report of three high school students' challenges, failures, and successes, helped contextualize the job of teaching in a Jackson high school. I have no doubt this will be a tough job; but, I am ready to take on the task.

2006-07-23T19:59:00.000-07:00

A NICE SURPRISE

July 23, 2006

Towards the end of the summer training, rarely did I know what we would be doing from session to session. I basically just started showing up to class at the designated time and finding out once I got there what we would be discussing. Last week, one of the sessions was a refreshing "surprise" for me. Susan Glisson, from the William Winter Institute for Racial Reconciliation, gave a great presentation that reiterated the importance of integrating civil rights history and current events into curricula.

When I was younger, my father recognized that civil rights history and the history of race relations in the United States were not adequately addressed in public schools. Therefore, he would encourage me to read books like Autobiography of Malcolm X, Soul on Ice, Eyes on the Prize, etc. I also remember reading books like Rage of a Privileged Class: Why Middle-Class Blacks Are Angry; Why America Should Care. Some of the most valuable experiences I've had include listening to my my parents, uncles and aunts, grandparents, and family friends discuss what it was like to grow up as black people in Mississippi decades ago. While I remember some things mentioned during those conversations, unfortunately, no record of those things were made. I regret that as a child and young adult, I never systematically and continuously studied black history and civil rights history.

Dr. Glisson's presentation reminded me that I need to study civil rights history/current events much more. While I was aware of most of the civil rights events that my classmates listed during the introduction, I have not yet made it a point to remember dates. I need to read upon on literature regarding the "unknown" civil rights champions of Mississippi. I also need to tape the historical information that I receive from the older people around me.

The most exciting part of the presentation for me was the 1963 video regarding the struggle to register black voters in Mississippi during the early 1960s. According to Dr. Glisson, the video was made to raise money for the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee with the understanding that the film would not be showed in Mississippi (due to safety concerns for those people who were included in the film).

My mother is from Liberty, MS (Amite County), one of the towns that was focused on during the film. When the film first mentioned Amite County, I became excited because my mother always told me about one of her family members that was killed by white people during the '60s because he was assisting black people with voter registration. I was hoping that I would be able to see Herbert Lee's image during the film, but I later learned that he had already been killed by the time the film was made. However, having the opportunity to see images of his family from 1963 was ten times better than finding an old family photo. I was so excited that I couldn't wait to call my mother after the session concluded. While she mentioned that a documentary about Herbert Lee was made several years ago, she never knew that the 1963 video existed.

2006-07-16T21:38:00.000-07:00

LOOKING AT MYSELF II

(REQUIRED BLOG RE: SELF-EVALUATION)

While looking at a videotape of myself teaching, I created a laundry list of things that I should do to make my teaching better. Unfortunately, some of the items on the list are exactly the same as those that I noticed during the first self-evaluation (for example, I need to eliminate the use of fillers like "ok"). The list includes the following: don't cover up my mouth with paper as I speak; stop looking at the board so much; call on a student to read word problems; be more specific with instructions; and create a system for remembering who has been called on so that I won't neglect any students.

I noticed while watching the tape that a mistake that I made would not have been noticeable had I not laughed out loud about it. (I forgot one element of the set and had to backtrack to fit it in.) Going forward, I should just play off the mistakes that I make.

Another thing that stood out to me was the way the lesson flowed with regard to student participation. During the team teaching, no one answered a question unless I called on them. In Holly Springs, I liked the students to just speak out the answers to questions without necessarily being called on individually. If no clear answer could be heard, I would then call on one person to answer. I liked doing it that way because all students had a chance to participate. This may not be possible with a class full of students, but some teachers have said that having an "open" classroom when working problems on the board can still be effective with larger classes. This is something that I will have to figure out based on how my students can handle it and whether an open classroom would cause more confusion than it's worth.

There were a few things that I thought I did well. I walked around the room a lot to assess and give feedback to students. I acknowledged common pitfalls while working with students so that hopefully the students would avoid them on homework and tests. I worked in review of other concepts while working problems.

Other than the open classroom/closed classroom distinction, I don't think my teaching style has changed much from the June self-evaluation to the July self-evaluation.

2006-07-02T21:37:00.000-07:00

LOOKING AT MYSELF

(Required Blog re: Self-Evaluation)

There are a couple of things that really stuck out to me about my teaching style. Just as I thought, I present material in a boring, mattter-of-fact type way. The kids are probably struggling just to stay awake. Unfortunately, sometimes I don't think there's anything more I can do to liven up things. Math is math. There are steps that have to be learned, and given a limited amount of time, sometimes there is simply no time for fun and games. I do see a need for a variety of instruction methods. While this lesson was straight and to the point with little board work for the students given the amount of material that had to be covered in only fifty minutes, I should definitely not teach like this day in and day out.

I also noticed the "filler" phrase that I use when I'm trying to think or have momentarily lost my place is "alright." I didn't count how many times I used it, but I repeated the word MANY times. It's the same problem that I and many people have when giving speeches. Pausing feels weird, so usually the phrase "umm" comes out. I wonder whether the students notice the filler or whether it is annoying to them. Honestly, if they don't have a problem with it, I don't see the point in trying to correct it. Especially if pausing or moments of silence might make them lose focus on the lesson.

I also walked around the room quite a bit, especially when the students were working example problems. This is a big change from when I first started. Sometimes I wonder if I distract the students when I walk around looking over their shoulders. That would irritate me as a student. However, I do it because I''m able to see if the students are taking the right steps, and I can assess whether I can move on to something else. Maybe the students really don't mind. I found that they often like affirmation that what they're doing is correct.

Despite the fact that my lecture style is generally boring, I was able to get the kids laughing for at least a moment. They were working on some problems, and I told them to look up at me for a minute so that I could show them something on the board. They did not respond immediately, so I said it again more sternly. I said I know I'm not the best looking thing, but it shouldn't hurt your eyes to look at me for just a couple hours a day. They giggled just a little bit. I think that little laughs like that are good for the class just to lighten things up a little.

2006-07-02T21:09:00.000-07:00

THE LONGEST MONTH

July 2, 2006

This has been the longest month of my life. Despite the fact that my students were great and I genuinely enjoyed my first experience teaching, the month of June felt as if it would never end. Perhaps it felt like the longest month because I was not able to sleep as many hours as I am accustomed to sleeping. There were several nights when I only slept 2-4 hours. While some people can handle this type of sleep deprivation for many consecutive nights, I cannot. I become grouchy. I am not mentally sharp. I just cannot perform on a high level.

The fact that one month of summer school has left me this drained concerns me. The school year is 9 months, and I will be teaching full days as compared to half days. Plus, I will still have graduate school to deal with on the weekends. I'm going to have to figure something out between now and August.

First, I definitely think I need to make time to work out. If I work out, my energy level is much higher. Unfortunately, during summer school, I only went to the gym once a week. I need to get that up to two or three times a week at least.

Also, I need to budget my time better during the week. There were several nights during June that I didn't get a full night's rest because I talked on the telephone several hours. While talking to my friends and family is an outlet necessary for me to stay balanced, I can't afford to spend so much time on the telephone.

I will also need to stick to my general working rule, which is that I must keep mid-week activities to a minimum. People laugh at me when I tell them that I can't go out in the middle of the week, but I know my body and how it works. If I stay out late and have to work the following day, I will be much like a zombie the next day.

I guess I'll blog in December about whether this Fall feels like the longest couple of months of my life.

2006-06-25T14:24:00.000-07:00

COOPERATIVE LEARNING GROUPS

(Required Blog)

Friday I experienced my second really tough lesson in a row. As we approach the end of the summer, the material is getting more complex. The Algebra problems are requiring more and more steps, and the students seem to sometimes give up in the middle of a long problem even though they may be on the right track. I think the students are no longer experiencing that satisfying feeling of completing a problem and being confident that it is right. They have a lack of confidence in what they're doing when a problem is very long, and due to the many steps, the likelihood of calculation errors and other mishaps increases tremendously.

Friday's lesson was on solving systems of linear equations using substitution. I gave the students a handout with all the steps and an example of how the steps are used to solve a problem. I went over several examples. When I allowed the students to try problems on their own, the majority of the students had problems with fractions, and therefore were not even able to complete all the steps. I tried to do a review of adding and subtracting fractions, but I don't think it was very helpful given its brevity. I was at a loss for what to do. I could do a million examples on the board, but it was up to them to try problems and practice in order for them to be able to do the problems on a test.

Given the students' lack of confidence on this concept, I was hesitant about whether to do the activity I had planned, but I decided to try it out anyway. I paired the students up and distributed an instruction sheet including directions for a "role-play" in which one student would be the "substitute teacher" who would teach the other student ("the class") a lesson on solving systems of linear equations using substitution. The two students would then switch roles. I paired the best students with the students who could use some extra help and required that the better performing students teach the lesson first. I thought the exercise would force the students to learn the steps for using substitution, since my experience has been that teaching a concept to someone helps me to understand the concept better myself. Earlier in the summer, I think this exercise would have worked well. However, due to the complexity of the lesson, the activity was a bust.

Either the students were not reading the instructions given to them, or my instructions were not as clear as I thought they were. I fielded several questions about what each student was supposed to be doing. Also, it took so long for the "substitute teachers" to work the example problem on their paper, that they never got around to coming to the board to teach "the class" the lesson.

Because of all the questions I received as I monitored the groups, I ended up scrapping the group work and working the problems on the board. I could tell by the students' responses when I asked what steps I should take next to work the problems that their difficulties were not with the steps for using the substitution method, but simply with the calculations. I even asked them directly what they were having trouble with, and they confirmed that they were having problems performing the calculations accurately.

The students are good at working together in pairs or groups, but I think this activity would have been more effective after the students had a chance to work several problems and gain some confidence about what they were doing.

2006-06-18T14:10:00.000-07:00

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH!?
(ASSIGNED BLOG RE: QUESTIONING STRATEGIES)

Since beginning to teach a little over a week ago, I've begun to interpret the eight faces that stare back at me as I do what I do at the front of the classroom. There's the face of being completely and totally LOST - the students don't know what island they're on, how they got there, or how to get off. That face means I've screwed up big time, and I need to try again. They obviously do not understand the words that are coming out of my mouth. Then there's the look of slight confusion - one little clarification, and the student is good to go on a concept. Finally, there's the look of utter boredom. This facial expression tells me I've got it, so please move on before I have to start some trouble in here.

When I want to make sure that I know where the students stand on understanding, I don't rely solely on the face-reading abilities that I am slowly developing. I also ask the students throughout the lesson to give me the next step to solve a problem, and I probe for feedback constantly. Since the class consists of only eight students, I do a lot of cold calling. The kids don't seem to mind. The lead teacher did a great job at the beginning of the summer fostering an environment where all the students are engaged in the learning process and are not afraid to get a question wrong.

Despite my attempts to try to gauge the students' understanding, I found myself at times being surprised at some of the concepts that were missed on tests, since when I asked whether everyone understood, they all responded that they did understand. On Wednesday, June 14, during a review for the students' third test, I tried a version of the "Muddiest Part of the Lecture" questioning strategy, which I prefer to call the "Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth," questioning strategy. (For those who can't quite place the quote, it was Chris Tucker in Rush Hour, 1998.) I first wrote on the board all the concepts that would be covered on the test. I gave the students a piece of typing paper and told them to fold it in half. I told them to write on one half of the paper what concepts they were confused about, or to write on the paper the numbers of problems on the Test Review handout that they would like to go over and to submit the half of paper to me. I told them to keep the other half of the paper so that if questions arose later in the review, they could submit those. One student wrote about 6 questions from the review. One student wrote 3 concepts and 2 questions. Two students didn't turn in a paper at all. The other students wrote about 2-4 questions on their paper.

I learned a couple of things from this little experiment. One, even the simplest directions must be repeated and emphasized. One student called out a number from his desk, and when I told him he was supposed to write it on the paper and submit it to me, he said that he had already turned in the entire piece of paper. I guess that was partially my fault since I allowed him to submit the whole sheet of paper instead of insisting that he keep half. I also learned that some students will not ask any questions no matter how much they're probed to ask questions. I was a little disappointed that two students didn't write any questions on the paper, especially since neither made an A on the test. I thought that since no one would know who asked what question, the students wouldn't feel the need to act as if they already knew everything. But then again, maybe they thought they knew everything on the test?? I think next time I will require everyone to submit at least one question.

2006-06-11T13:48:00.000-07:00

UBIQUITOUS RACISM

Elizabeth Savage's focus paper, entitled The Preservation of Segregation: The Philosophical Necessity of White Academies in Mississippi, outlines the state of Mississippi's past efforts to resist desegregation mandates and discusses the persistence of segregated schools in Mississippi as a result of de facto segregation and the function of private, all-white academies. The paper caused me to once again think about my present view on race relations in Mississippi and about de facto segregation.

I grew up in Jackson, a city of approximately 180,000 people where more than 70% of the population are African American and where many of the elected officials are black. My schools were racially mixed when I and my older sister attended them, but now, Jackson Public Schools has somewhere around a 97% Black enrollment. I completely acknowledge that there is a high instance of segregation in the schools here in Mississippi. My question is why people speak as if this is a concept that is peculiar to Mississippi? The "white flight" phenomenon is not a Mississippi issue; it's a national issue. There are plenty examples of it in cities from East to West and South to North where there are an appreciable number of minority students in the school districts. Perhaps people talk about the segregation of Mississippi schools as if segregation doesn't occur elsewhere because, as the focus paper points out, the percentage of black students attending segregated schools in Mississippi is so high. But maybe that's because of all the states, Mississippi has the largest percentage of black people. In other words, my guess is that the prevelance of segregated schools in Mississippi is because there are so many districts in Mississippi where the number of black students is significant enough to trigger "white flight" to the suburbs or private academies. I would be curious to look at research regarding the demographics of schools nationwide having minority populations above 50%. My guess is that white flight and segregation is an issue in many of those schools, regardless of where they're located.

One sentence that stuck out to me in the focus paper stated: "Mississippi has come a long way, but racially, it remains the least progressive state in the union." Perhaps I am a bit defensive of the state in which I was born, raised, and spent all but four years of my life, but I have plenty of thoughts about this statement based on my experiences in Mississippi and elsewhere. While it may be hard for many people to believe, Mississippi has many great attributes that keep me coming back home. However, there are also things that I don't like about it. It is a given that there are some people in Mississippi who are racist and who do not want to--nor do they-- socialize with people of other races. It is a given that there are towns that are extremely segregated and where black people and white people hardly ever see each other. It is also true that many public schools across the state are racially identifiable. However, my experience does not support the conclusion that Mississippi is so far behind in race relations. I think the entire country is racially divisive, but that it just shows up in different ways in different regions.

People think I am being dishonest when I tell them that I experienced more racism in the three years I lived in the Boston area than I did my whole life in Mississippi. However, that is simply the truth. Many of my friends from the South have had the same experience. We have discussed why we think that is. We know that racism is definitely still alive and well here, but we found the racial environment here more "harmonious" than other places we have been outside of the South. Why? I think in Mississippi, many people that don't want to socialize with other races just don't do it and don't feel guilty about it. I don't have a problem with that. If a person-- because of prejudice or whatever else it may be-- does not feel comfortable in my presence, guess what? Just don't be in my presence. Makes life easier for the both of us. However, my experience in Boston was that some people who either consciously or subconsciously harbored racial prejudices attempted to mask those prejudices (perhaps due to social pressure), but were highly unsuccessful. Despite their best efforts, it showed through their interactions. These forced interactions were no more palatable to me than the "avoidance of the other race" that occurs here in Mississippi. (In fact, I prefer to know where a person stands than to have to guess or find out in some uncomfortable way.)

I also think the structure of a city like Boston is such that people are forced to be in each other's space even when they don't want to, therefore leading to uncomfortable incidents. For example, I remember getting on a train in downtown Boston and having to stand next to a man with numerous swastikas (large and in color) tattooed all over his body, including on his neck. I would love to have been spared that experience.

What is my point in all this? My point is to say that those who stand on the outside looking in who constantly criticize Mississippi for its race relations should definitely continue to challenge the ignorance that breeds racism and prejudice, but don't make the mistake of concluding that Mississippi is the only place that has racial issues. Don't be lulled into believing other places across the country are so many eons ahead of Mississippi. Racism is everywhere; it just manifests itself in different ways.

Regarding public education, I'd prefer to not focus on the fact that many public schools are all or predominately black due to white flight to academies or the suburbs. We are all free to make our own decisions, even if those decisions are based on racism and prejudice. If the results of racism and prejudice are de facto segregated schools, so be it. Let's focus on making sure that the little black kids left in the public schools are getting the best education they can get. We need to stop feeding their minds with the idea that there is something wrong the schools because no white kids are there, or that they can't get a good education because no white kids are there. (Note also that not all white students leave public schools because of racism. Sometimes it's just a matter of choosing the better school.)

2006-06-05T15:11:00.000-07:00

WHY AM I HERE?
June 5, 2006

This has been a reoccuring question since my arrival on the campus of the University of Mississippi. Each time I have answered, I have never given the exact same answer. I have said that I am here because I love working with children; I didn't like practicing law, so I wanted to try a career that I thought I would enjoy; and I want to affect the lives of children in my community. All of these reasons are intertwined in the predominant reason that I am here -- because teaching is what I feel the Lord wants me to do.

Last winter/spring, I read the book Purpose Driven Life along with a group of about 7 lawyers and other young professionals. The book is composed of 40 chapters to be read one chapter per day and attempts to focus the reader on understanding what his or her purpose in life is from a Christian perspective. It was my second time reading the book in six months. Instead of just talking about the chapters with a partner like I did the first time I read it, I emailed entries to the group each day based on the day's reading. I found a common theme in my entries: 1) practicing law was not for me at that point in my life; 2) what brings me joy and satisfaction, regardless of the challenges and emotional investment it requires, is working with young people; and 3) my greatest desire is to serve God in whatever way he deems most appropriate. At that point in my life, I realized that I would not be at peace unless I allowed God to lead me. This is the email that I wrote to my Purpose Driven Life group that identified the exact point in time when it became clear to me that I would be a teacher:

Subject:	RE: Purpose Driven Life Day 23- How we Grow
Date:	Tue, 15 Mar 2005 17:25:50 -0500

Here we go again. I didn't have to talk about the work thing for the last couple of entries, but this question is making me talk about it again. Here goes ... Typically, when it comes to making important decisions, I will decide to do something, make a plan to do it, and then do it. For a LOOONG time I would make the initial decision without really consulting God. Now, I've started consulting him, but I keep saying to myself, is that God's answer, rather than accepting a message as a direction from God and doing it. Let me be specific. Last weekend I visited my aunt who I suppose is mid to late sixties. We talked about my boring life among other things and she said that she would pray for me in two areas - one being ... my professional situation (I have not been miserable lately but neither have I been content). So, last week I was awakened in the middle of the night with a thought in my mind about what I am supposed to be doing. It wasn't even something that I myself have said I wanted to do before. I was almost certain that this message was from God. Then my rational mind jumped in the way, and I started questioning: Maybe that was the devil that put that in my head ... things are not right for me to do that ... will I be able to make it financially ... how do I know when I'm supposed to do it... do I even have the necessary skills for that ... what if I'm even worse at that then I am as a lawyer. Still don't know if I received a message from God, but I do know that I need to let go of my way - which is to only do things after I analyze them and find them be rational, and after I have made a plan to do them. To do things God's way, I must have faith in Him and not cling to certain things because they are safe and predictable. I can't think of one time I've ever exercised my faith in God, and I think this is probably keeping me from growing.

So, for those who can understand this--and even those that can't--I am here because God put it in my heart to teach. My being here involves me stepping out on faith and doing what God put in my heart to do - even though it means a tremendous salary cut, harder work than I've ever done in my life, and uncertainty about a lot of things.