NOT TOO CLOSE

One of the reasons that I became a teacher was to be in a position where I can positively influence and encourage young people. While the academic knowledge that a teacher gives to a student is important, I think some of the most long-lasting effects that a teacher can have on a student have nothing to do with book knowledge. A lot of times I hear people say that certain teachers affected their lives forever because the teachers believed in them, or the teachers listened to them, or the teachers genuinely cared about them. None of these things have anything to do with whether the teacher taught algebra or world history well.

Lately I have begun to wonder if I have neglected that part of teaching. I don't know if my students realize that I truly am concerned about them. I doubt if I actually show it in a way that is clear to them. It's hard for a young person to understand that when an adult gets on them for something, it's because of love for them and not dislike. I am generally a person that does not like to show a lot of emotion anyway, so I am sure that I probably come off as quite cold to my students. My classroom persona is often stern, straight-faced, and impersonal.

There have been several instances this year where some of my students' personal problems have been brought to my attention, and I just did not know how to handle them. My response to them was probably viewed as very detached and unconcerned. For example, when my students miss class, I tell them that the most they can get on make-up work is seventy-five percent unless they have excused absences. One time a student made the statement, you don't know what goes on in people's homes and what problems they are facing. My response: if you don't have an official excuse, the maximum grade you can receive is 75. The student was right though - I don't know what is happening in the lives of my students. I haven't really taken the time to stop and listen. The few times that my students have informed me about some bad home situations, I haven't even followed up with them to let them know that I am concerned.

Maybe I don't have to be that type of teacher - the type that students feel they can talk to. I don't know if that is my natural personality. I have never been the type of person that strangers could feel comfortable confiding in. Although I think I'm an empathetic person, I am very uncomfortable with showing what I feel or letting a person know that I am concerned. I'm the type of person that hears about people's problems and prays for them though they may never know it. I think I am struggling with the lines. I think that for the sake of sanity, I am trying to make sure that I don't get too close. But if that is my approach, can I ever be that teacher that touches the life of a student forever?