ANTICIPATION

Several things happened this week that increased my anticipation of the first day of school. Thursday I finally signed my contract, and I had the opportunity to visit my classroom. I was overwhelmed with the question in my mind: how will I decorate my classroom? Creativity is one of many things the Lord didn't find it necessary to bless me with, so it is clear that I'm going to have to have to call on some friends and family to help me out with decorating.

Visiting the classroom also made me more excited about the upcoming year. If teaching is anything like the experience I had in Holly Springs, I think that I will genuinely enjoy it. I am optimistic right now. I expect to have some good days and bad days, but I am hopeful that the good days will be much more abundant.

While many of my friends and family discouraged me from taking this path, they have recently given me very encouraging and supportive comments. Although, I am wondering if they are secretly making bets about whether I will be mass mailing resumes to law firms after two months of school.

This weekend, my high school class reunion was held. Several of my classmates are also teachers. Many of them have taught for several years and seem to be enjoying life. Talking to them made me feel like I made a good decision.

This evening, I watched the Tom Brokaw report on a Jackson high school entitled Separate and Unequal. The report of three high school students' challenges, failures, and successes, helped contextualize the job of teaching in a Jackson high school. I have no doubt this will be a tough job; but, I am ready to take on the task.

A NICE SURPRISE

July 23, 2006

Towards the end of the summer training, rarely did I know what we would be doing from session to session. I basically just started showing up to class at the designated time and finding out once I got there what we would be discussing. Last week, one of the sessions was a refreshing "surprise" for me. Susan Glisson, from the William Winter Institute for Racial Reconciliation, gave a great presentation that reiterated the importance of integrating civil rights history and current events into curricula.

When I was younger, my father recognized that civil rights history and the history of race relations in the United States were not adequately addressed in public schools. Therefore, he would encourage me to read books like Autobiography of Malcolm X, Soul on Ice, Eyes on the Prize, etc. I also remember reading books like Rage of a Privileged Class: Why Middle-Class Blacks Are Angry; Why America Should Care. Some of the most valuable experiences I've had include listening to my my parents, uncles and aunts, grandparents, and family friends discuss what it was like to grow up as black people in Mississippi decades ago. While I remember some things mentioned during those conversations, unfortunately, no record of those things were made. I regret that as a child and young adult, I never systematically and continuously studied black history and civil rights history.

Dr. Glisson's presentation reminded me that I need to study civil rights history/current events much more. While I was aware of most of the civil rights events that my classmates listed during the introduction, I have not yet made it a point to remember dates. I need to read upon on literature regarding the "unknown" civil rights champions of Mississippi. I also need to tape the historical information that I receive from the older people around me.

The most exciting part of the presentation for me was the 1963 video regarding the struggle to register black voters in Mississippi during the early 1960s. According to Dr. Glisson, the video was made to raise money for the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee with the understanding that the film would not be showed in Mississippi (due to safety concerns for those people who were included in the film).

My mother is from Liberty, MS (Amite County), one of the towns that was focused on during the film. When the film first mentioned Amite County, I became excited because my mother always told me about one of her family members that was killed by white people during the '60s because he was assisting black people with voter registration. I was hoping that I would be able to see Herbert Lee's image during the film, but I later learned that he had already been killed by the time the film was made. However, having the opportunity to see images of his family from 1963 was ten times better than finding an old family photo. I was so excited that I couldn't wait to call my mother after the session concluded. While she mentioned that a documentary about Herbert Lee was made several years ago, she never knew that the 1963 video existed.

LOOKING AT MYSELF II

(REQUIRED BLOG RE: SELF-EVALUATION)

While looking at a videotape of myself teaching, I created a laundry list of things that I should do to make my teaching better. Unfortunately, some of the items on the list are exactly the same as those that I noticed during the first self-evaluation (for example, I need to eliminate the use of fillers like "ok"). The list includes the following: don't cover up my mouth with paper as I speak; stop looking at the board so much; call on a student to read word problems; be more specific with instructions; and create a system for remembering who has been called on so that I won't neglect any students.

I noticed while watching the tape that a mistake that I made would not have been noticeable had I not laughed out loud about it. (I forgot one element of the set and had to backtrack to fit it in.) Going forward, I should just play off the mistakes that I make.

Another thing that stood out to me was the way the lesson flowed with regard to student participation. During the team teaching, no one answered a question unless I called on them. In Holly Springs, I liked the students to just speak out the answers to questions without necessarily being called on individually. If no clear answer could be heard, I would then call on one person to answer. I liked doing it that way because all students had a chance to participate. This may not be possible with a class full of students, but some teachers have said that having an "open" classroom when working problems on the board can still be effective with larger classes. This is something that I will have to figure out based on how my students can handle it and whether an open classroom would cause more confusion than it's worth.

There were a few things that I thought I did well. I walked around the room a lot to assess and give feedback to students. I acknowledged common pitfalls while working with students so that hopefully the students would avoid them on homework and tests. I worked in review of other concepts while working problems.

Other than the open classroom/closed classroom distinction, I don't think my teaching style has changed much from the June self-evaluation to the July self-evaluation.

LOOKING AT MYSELF

(Required Blog re: Self-Evaluation)

There are a couple of things that really stuck out to me about my teaching style. Just as I thought, I present material in a boring, mattter-of-fact type way. The kids are probably struggling just to stay awake. Unfortunately, sometimes I don't think there's anything more I can do to liven up things. Math is math. There are steps that have to be learned, and given a limited amount of time, sometimes there is simply no time for fun and games. I do see a need for a variety of instruction methods. While this lesson was straight and to the point with little board work for the students given the amount of material that had to be covered in only fifty minutes, I should definitely not teach like this day in and day out.

I also noticed the "filler" phrase that I use when I'm trying to think or have momentarily lost my place is "alright." I didn't count how many times I used it, but I repeated the word MANY times. It's the same problem that I and many people have when giving speeches. Pausing feels weird, so usually the phrase "umm" comes out. I wonder whether the students notice the filler or whether it is annoying to them. Honestly, if they don't have a problem with it, I don't see the point in trying to correct it. Especially if pausing or moments of silence might make them lose focus on the lesson.

I also walked around the room quite a bit, especially when the students were working example problems. This is a big change from when I first started. Sometimes I wonder if I distract the students when I walk around looking over their shoulders. That would irritate me as a student. However, I do it because I''m able to see if the students are taking the right steps, and I can assess whether I can move on to something else. Maybe the students really don't mind. I found that they often like affirmation that what they're doing is correct.

Despite the fact that my lecture style is generally boring, I was able to get the kids laughing for at least a moment. They were working on some problems, and I told them to look up at me for a minute so that I could show them something on the board. They did not respond immediately, so I said it again more sternly. I said I know I'm not the best looking thing, but it shouldn't hurt your eyes to look at me for just a couple hours a day. They giggled just a little bit. I think that little laughs like that are good for the class just to lighten things up a little.

THE LONGEST MONTH

July 2, 2006

This has been the longest month of my life. Despite the fact that my students were great and I genuinely enjoyed my first experience teaching, the month of June felt as if it would never end. Perhaps it felt like the longest month because I was not able to sleep as many hours as I am accustomed to sleeping. There were several nights when I only slept 2-4 hours. While some people can handle this type of sleep deprivation for many consecutive nights, I cannot. I become grouchy. I am not mentally sharp. I just cannot perform on a high level.

The fact that one month of summer school has left me this drained concerns me. The school year is 9 months, and I will be teaching full days as compared to half days. Plus, I will still have graduate school to deal with on the weekends. I'm going to have to figure something out between now and August.

First, I definitely think I need to make time to work out. If I work out, my energy level is much higher. Unfortunately, during summer school, I only went to the gym once a week. I need to get that up to two or three times a week at least.

Also, I need to budget my time better during the week. There were several nights during June that I didn't get a full night's rest because I talked on the telephone several hours. While talking to my friends and family is an outlet necessary for me to stay balanced, I can't afford to spend so much time on the telephone.

I will also need to stick to my general working rule, which is that I must keep mid-week activities to a minimum. People laugh at me when I tell them that I can't go out in the middle of the week, but I know my body and how it works. If I stay out late and have to work the following day, I will be much like a zombie the next day.

I guess I'll blog in December about whether this Fall feels like the longest couple of months of my life.